I'm feeling

a little sad lately. I'm not completely sure why. I'm getting a little pissed at people in general, people who I thought were friends of mine who aren't talking to me, and then there are some that are just outright denying me. Yeah, that's a warm fuzzy.

I just feel all alone. Most of my family (my mom, most of my siblings, my dad and another sis will be heading out early next week) left this morning and will be gone for almost two weeks. And really, outside of my family, my husband and a few others (I mean a very few, like maybe two) I just don't have any friends. What's happened to me? Am I mean? Am I hateful? Do I smell? I mean seriously, why do people not like me or not like spending time with me? Am I not making enough of an effort here?

We've recently been presented with the possibility of moving to a small town several hours away and at first I was really upset because I didn't want to leave my friends, but wait... I don't have any. What am I leaving behind? nothing. My family I can talk to all the time and they are just a three hour drive away. So why not? No one here is gonna miss me.

Motivation

So, I am tired. Sick and tired of looking like I do. Several pounds over weight. For those who don't know me, in the last three and a half years I've had two precious babies. And my likeable size four has "blossomed". I keep blaming it on having babies but lets be honest, that maybe how the weight was added but that's not why after almost three years it's still here.

I really don't like exercise. Never have. Then again I've never had to be concerned with my weight. Until now. And making time to go somewhere and exercise just ain't happenin'. I've got two kids and no tolerance for three dollar a gallon gasoline. All that to say, this will not be "fun", but I've resolved, no matter how hard it might be, to get back in those clothes, by Christmas. These pictures are here to motivate me. This is what I want. Not the cocaine addict, anorexic body, like some models have but something that's healthy and toned.

So here's what I need from you. Keep me accountable. When you think about it send me a message, ask me how it's going. I need to stay motivated and on track.

If you're in the neighborhood lets go for a walk.

Oh no. I think we've got a problem...

Last night we went to one of our favorite hang outs to eat yummy food and listen to good music. Central Market. If you've never been you should go. It's a grocery store that carries all kinds of gourmet foods. The one by our house had a patio with a playground so you can eat out there and the kids can play on the playground. During the summer a local newspaper sponsors little concerts. Three fabulous bands played last night so we went. My three year old Chelsea was in heaven. She was so into it. Standing inches from the stage, dancing, even pressing her ear right up to the speakers. She sat right up by the bands for most of the night, they rarely lost her attention.

We all kind of joked that she looked like a groupie. When we got home I asked her what her favorite part of the night was and she said singing. I asked if she wanted to be a singer. She said yes and began to belt out a song she made up...adorable. Then first thing this morning she started talking about it again. I have no problems with her wanting to sing. in fact, I'd like that. So here is my concern. She's only three and rockin' out. I don't want her to grow up to be one of those girls... you know...a "Penny Lane".

I love music, my husband loves music. It's only natural that she'd be into it as well. I want to encourage her curiosity without helping her become a slutty groupie. Graham told her she couldn't date musicians. I thought that was funny because...well...musicians are hot. Right. And she's three. Hopefully she won't date for quite a while.

So, all that to say, if you get a chance to catch Calhoun, The Dark Romantics, or Black Tie Dynasty don't pass it up. Maybe you can rock out with Chelsea, right up front :)

Your secret place

I recently came across a website about the book Post Secrets. I remember when I first heard about the book. I thought it was a very interesting concept. People write on a postcard their most intimate secret and this book is full of them. It is a great outlet to get a possibly very heavy burden off your chest without being found out.

I am finding that more and more people are using their blogs the same way. It's a place for them to speak their minds and be their "true" self. Say things they would otherwise never say out loud. Maybe not the darkest of secrets but inner thoughts none the less. Why are we so afraid to be our true selves in front of everyone else?

Maybe it's the appeal of speaking your mind without having a real person staring back at you. I mean, have you ever been in a chat room? People say the vilest of things to you before they even know your name. Something they would probably never do if you were sitting next to them in a bar. Or maybe they would. I hope not.

So, musers type on... working out your thoughts, and I'll be there reading.

No one reads this so ...

What has happened to me? I used to be pretty organized, routine, rarely watched tv. Now I've become too lazy, no routine other than all my appointment t.v. and I hate it. Part of me wishes I had a job to go to. Give me something else to do. Something to regulate a schedule. I'M NEEDING STRUCTURE!!! But I also know that this season of my life requires me to be at home, raising my children.

I'm so torn. I guess I'm really ready to be adding more money to our income so we can finally buy a house. Renting is such a money pit. Thousands of dollars a year and in the end, nothing to show for it. My current abode is so full of stuff it's driving me crazy. I think the minimalist in me is having a breakdown. I want to go through my house with a trash bag and throw away everything that I don't use on a daily basis. Now I understand why Postmen go crazy, it never ends. For them it's the mail. For me it's the laundry and the dishes. As soon as I think I have a handle on things everything gets out of control. It just keeps coming. I mean, seriously, how can four people possibly wear so much clothing?

I think my house would stay clean if there was never anyone here to mess it up.

Maybe I wasn't cut out for this job.... that or I need a vacation.

What? I can't hear you

For several weeks, yes I said weeks, I dealt with a horrible sinus infection. Fun Times. As a result of this infection I developed random ear infections. These I have not experienced since I was a child.
The first one occurred when I spent most of the night sleeping on one side causing all the drainage to collect, causing an ear infection, this is attractive I know, but I do have a point just stick with me. By noon that next day it was better. No big deal. Two days later I got another one, on the other side. I assumed it was caused the same way so I took some dayquil and went about my business. But this one felt different and by noon that day I was in so much pain I could hardly move. This pain resulted in a ruptured eardrum a few hours later. *see footnote
I spent the next few days with cotton in my ear to keep the drainage from leaking down my face. YUCK! In the midst of this I made an unavoidable trip to the beautiful mountains of New Mexico which means pressure change much like riding in an airplane where your ears pop. This was a pleasant experience. Since that time I have only been able to hear muffled sounds out of my right ear. I'm a little concerned. The stuff I read online said it should take 1-2 weeks to heal on it's own, in some cases antibiotics may be needed to take care of the virus. Well, I've felt better for a week and a half now, but still can't hear. It was three weeks last Thursday.
Should I be worried? Has anyone else experienced this? Will my hearing ever come back?

* Currently my husband and I have no health insurance. Too freakin' expensive. So it would have cost me a small fortune and a whole day, which I did not have, in a waiting room to see some random doctor. Therefore, I consulted WebMD and got what I felt was adequate information and proceeded with course of action they suggested.


Whenever Molly Jenson sends out an email she always ends it with a short list of things she is currently loving. I like this idea so here is my list...

1. Target brand stuff... it's just like the name brand only usually 1/2 the price
2. the Mr. Clean eraser (the target brand one) 'cause it gets the crayon off the wall
3. WhichWich in the mall - they have TASTY sammies
4. Front porches to sit on and enjoy a summer evening
5. Pot(providence)luck after church

And one pet peeve...

Kids who don't respect authority/other people in general. I have a million first hand experiences but I'll share just one. Tonight while sitting in the mall food court eating my dinner a young man walked by with some friends. He was carrying a shopping bag which hit me upside the head as he passed. He knew it hit me and didn't even say excuse me or I'm sorry. He just kept walking. What a punk.

my outlet

So I figured if I could jump on the myspace bandwagon I might as well do this blogging thing... I mean seriously...what girl doesn't like to pretend she's Carrie Bradshaw? There is nothing like chatting with your friends about the days events and the strange and unusual happenings. What's better than walking in to tap class and saying "Michelle. You will never guess what happened last night!" But now Michelle is in Houston and I'm a stay at home mom. No tap classes, no hours upon hours spent at Four Star, no pool games at Red Star.
So here it is. My outlet. A place for me to share my quirky and sometimes funny only to me daily events. If you don't like it, don't read it.

Most recent Robot Kenzie saying : "Mayonnaise"