I'm feeling

a little sad lately. I'm not completely sure why. I'm getting a little pissed at people in general, people who I thought were friends of mine who aren't talking to me, and then there are some that are just outright denying me. Yeah, that's a warm fuzzy.

I just feel all alone. Most of my family (my mom, most of my siblings, my dad and another sis will be heading out early next week) left this morning and will be gone for almost two weeks. And really, outside of my family, my husband and a few others (I mean a very few, like maybe two) I just don't have any friends. What's happened to me? Am I mean? Am I hateful? Do I smell? I mean seriously, why do people not like me or not like spending time with me? Am I not making enough of an effort here?

We've recently been presented with the possibility of moving to a small town several hours away and at first I was really upset because I didn't want to leave my friends, but wait... I don't have any. What am I leaving behind? nothing. My family I can talk to all the time and they are just a three hour drive away. So why not? No one here is gonna miss me.

Motivation

So, I am tired. Sick and tired of looking like I do. Several pounds over weight. For those who don't know me, in the last three and a half years I've had two precious babies. And my likeable size four has "blossomed". I keep blaming it on having babies but lets be honest, that maybe how the weight was added but that's not why after almost three years it's still here.

I really don't like exercise. Never have. Then again I've never had to be concerned with my weight. Until now. And making time to go somewhere and exercise just ain't happenin'. I've got two kids and no tolerance for three dollar a gallon gasoline. All that to say, this will not be "fun", but I've resolved, no matter how hard it might be, to get back in those clothes, by Christmas. These pictures are here to motivate me. This is what I want. Not the cocaine addict, anorexic body, like some models have but something that's healthy and toned.

So here's what I need from you. Keep me accountable. When you think about it send me a message, ask me how it's going. I need to stay motivated and on track.

If you're in the neighborhood lets go for a walk.

Oh no. I think we've got a problem...

Last night we went to one of our favorite hang outs to eat yummy food and listen to good music. Central Market. If you've never been you should go. It's a grocery store that carries all kinds of gourmet foods. The one by our house had a patio with a playground so you can eat out there and the kids can play on the playground. During the summer a local newspaper sponsors little concerts. Three fabulous bands played last night so we went. My three year old Chelsea was in heaven. She was so into it. Standing inches from the stage, dancing, even pressing her ear right up to the speakers. She sat right up by the bands for most of the night, they rarely lost her attention.

We all kind of joked that she looked like a groupie. When we got home I asked her what her favorite part of the night was and she said singing. I asked if she wanted to be a singer. She said yes and began to belt out a song she made up...adorable. Then first thing this morning she started talking about it again. I have no problems with her wanting to sing. in fact, I'd like that. So here is my concern. She's only three and rockin' out. I don't want her to grow up to be one of those girls... you know...a "Penny Lane".

I love music, my husband loves music. It's only natural that she'd be into it as well. I want to encourage her curiosity without helping her become a slutty groupie. Graham told her she couldn't date musicians. I thought that was funny because...well...musicians are hot. Right. And she's three. Hopefully she won't date for quite a while.

So, all that to say, if you get a chance to catch Calhoun, The Dark Romantics, or Black Tie Dynasty don't pass it up. Maybe you can rock out with Chelsea, right up front :)

Your secret place

I recently came across a website about the book Post Secrets. I remember when I first heard about the book. I thought it was a very interesting concept. People write on a postcard their most intimate secret and this book is full of them. It is a great outlet to get a possibly very heavy burden off your chest without being found out.

I am finding that more and more people are using their blogs the same way. It's a place for them to speak their minds and be their "true" self. Say things they would otherwise never say out loud. Maybe not the darkest of secrets but inner thoughts none the less. Why are we so afraid to be our true selves in front of everyone else?

Maybe it's the appeal of speaking your mind without having a real person staring back at you. I mean, have you ever been in a chat room? People say the vilest of things to you before they even know your name. Something they would probably never do if you were sitting next to them in a bar. Or maybe they would. I hope not.

So, musers type on... working out your thoughts, and I'll be there reading.