Thursday, September 28, 2006

Epiphany

I always have these thoughts throughout the day and think "Oh, this would be great to blog about". And then, by the time I actually sit down at the computer the thought have become far removed from my brain....

Today is Thursday and on Thursday mornings I have a young moms bible study group at church. There are about six of us and three of them I grew up with so I feel like we are a pretty close group. Right now we are going through this awesome book called
Don't Make Me Count To Three by Ginger Plowman. It's this great book about "a mom's look at heart-oriented discipline". If you don't know what that means just ask. I'd love to share.

But that's not what I'm discussing here, it's just a little background. Today I've been pondering the future... pertaining to my children. This group of girls, at least to the best of my knowledge, all plan on homeschooling their kids. And they would all be great at it. I, on the other hand, feel very little calling to pursue that. I know I have issues with patience, I'm not a good teacher, and at this point in time I think when the time comes our children will go to public school initially and I'll go back to work. At least part-time.

So why do I feel a little guilty about it? I don't want to homeschool them. I was homeschooled for three years of my life and I absolutely hated it. Also --- Side note--- both my mother and mother-in-law are currently homeschooling their children and most of the kids have been homeschooled exclusively. I went to public school until the eighth grade, was homeschooled 8th-10th and the finished in private school. I turned out alright. I don't feel too jaded or warped. I don't feel like my parents were never there for me ( although one difference is that my mom always stayed home).

A lot of times the conversation in Bible Study comes around to the fact that we as wives and mothers are called to raise are children in the teaching and admonition of the Lord...Titus 2 says "3
Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, 4 and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, 5 to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled." ...
and how can this be accomplished if we send our children off to school... and work outside the home?

Will I be judged by this group of believers if I choose not to follow in their footsteps? I admire them for what they are doing, but I just don't think it's for us, at this time. And I ask because we've sat around talking about "those women" who neglect their duties as a wife and mom to pursue careers and "have nice things". I'm not trying to pursue any kind of career. I just want my kids to get a decent education which I know isn't going to happen if they stay home with me... Thoughts?

1 comment:

Peg said...

Hi there!

You know, I really respect the fact that you realize that homeschooling isn't the best option for you. This isn't about you being able to have a career and 'buy nice things', this is about you wanting to give the best education that you can for your children--and if that is in the school system, rather than homeschooling, well I say, Go For it!

You can still be a good wife, and a good Christian, even if you are not at home 24/7. That works for these other women, but it sounds like it wouldn't work so well for you. To realize that, is admirable. To put words to it? Courageous. A measure of personal fulfillment is necessary for us as mothers, and humans, to be able to adequately and enthusiastically give of ourselves to our family.

Now, I'm not an outwardly religious person, so forgive me if I offend--certainly, that is not my intent. But the Bible was written many, many years ago--and as such, I would be more inclined to take the passage from Titus in a less literal way, and more in a figurative fashion. I think your family will benefit if each member of the family (yourself as wife/mother included) find the path that brings them to a higher place spiritually. I have a hard time believing that the place for that to happen is exclusively within the home for the female half of the world.

All the best,
~Peg