Baby Woes

I feel a little foolish. I've hoped and prayed that this, my fifth pregnancy, would be different than all the others. In a lot of ways it has. But in the "I'm older, not as fit, my body has already birthed four children" kind of way, not the "I'm gonna have this baby before I hit the miserable point" way. During what could possibly be the hottest summer on record, I was hoping for a little reprieve. But baby, you've got just over 48 hours before you follow in the footsteps of your older siblings. Chelsea was induced on her due date. Mackenzie was scheduled for induction 5 days after hers but I went into labor on my own a few hours beforehand. Izzie was induced 4 days after hers. Silas was scheduled for induction 5 days after his but came on his own a few hours before we were scheduled to be at the hospital.... See a trend? In a very poor attempt to get Si'bs here Graham & I tried acupressure. I don't recommend you try this without the help of a professional. Oh we read plenty of websites. All it did was cause me a night of excruciating cramping with no real results.

I worked hard cleaning house this afternoon hoping to get some good contractions going. I just wore my already tired self out and as I sat in the bubble bath* trying to console myself on what appears to be my fate I had a thought, (Other than 'I guess I didn't get the toilet brush up under the rim as well as I should have') "I should pray more about this. All my energy has been spent in 'Woe is me' mode and I've neglected to pray that God might have favor on me... and end my suffering." Whoa, hold up. WHAT?!?!? It's not God's mind that needs to be changed, it's my heart. My head knows his timing is perfect... Why can't I trust in that? My prayer needs to be for patience, not that I'll get my way. When has MY way ever done me a bit of good? So I'll meditate on this instead:

I believe that I shall look upon the goodness of the LORD
in the land of the living!
Wait for the LORD;
be strong, and let your heart take courage;
wait for the LORD! - Psalm 27: 13 - 14

God knows what's best for me, what's best for baby Rhys. I'm going to spend my energy thanking Him for this marvelous creation and gift and enjoy these next days with the kiddos he's already given me. I won't be pregnant forever **. I hope :) I have my next midwife appointment on Wednesday morning with my favorite midwife , Brenda. She always starts and ends our appointment with a hug and I think I'm going to need it this week.

* I don't understand the desire to take a bubble bath. My sister loves them. I always get bored after a few minutes and want to move on to something else. The exceptions to this are when I'm really sick & when I'm really pregnant.... nothing soothes like a little soak in the tub.

** I saw a tv special once about this woman in India who got pregnant and miscarried but never birthed the child. 30 something years later, as a very old woman, she was having surgery to remove the infants calcified bones from her womb... Incredibly interesting and heartbreaking at the same time.